Raw

Jewish women are warm. Her visiting daughter

leaned in, kissed her elderly mother on the lips.

At a  train station reunion emotions unprocessed

I said “First kiss me on the lips”,

She made a bit of a face, but smooched,something

my mother would never want to do, ever.

The rain was fervent and made a river of our afternoon.

The Carp swimming in that mere foot of a pool seemed

suffering to me but she felt that it is what they are used to.

She drank warm saki and cringed at my telling

of painful memories and the exposed nerves.

I had warned her I was bloodied and fresh.

Coming of Age

John Green makes my inner teenager smirk

Not making any excuses for loving Q

What’s happening to the sterotypes

Hollywood makes for young women?

They cast the model who has none

of the physical traits of the written character

but at least she has a book prop at the end

Friends

All the really special ones pick me.

Fresh from a year in NYC, this

28 year old native gay man

returns with the best hug

He wears his rainbows inside

My tank top has one and it says

“I am Over it”

Fear with Teeth

4. getting emails from my sister on Lithium telling me about my life

5. cockroaches in the cat’s bowl

6. men that send me messages with lol

7. people that say “I know” and they do not

8. car repairs

9. listening to voicemail

10. not being able to help

Speedy Recovery

This red rental car is mocking as a symbol of this surreal convalescence

Thrown into the mix of muscle relaxant fogged brain, is real insanity

Gas lighting is a word I taught her and her pilot light is inconsistently

flickering real and then imagined making a physical connection to

paranoia and delusion in her unreachable work location near a bus stop

“SONIC” I scream on the phone to my friend.

“She will never survive a day”

“They named it that because they want Fast!”

The generation born in the 50’s ruined the economy

she rants. There are no jobs except making slushes.

In My Blood

Nerve pinched sent such pain throbbing, twitching, stabbing

It’s a 10

Yes I want it IV

Now

Morphine

She drove me home and held my hands and prayed for Jesus

wine

muscle relaxant

hydrocodone

Sleep for the first time in 4 days and then a shower and relief

Guide

Hidden behind the calcium dusts

a mariners’ beacon of great strength

floods the turbulent stormy waters

where your small boat capsizes

rescuing your hopelessness with

one more master piece of impressions